SHONA WATT
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It’s not that we can’t admit the reality of climate change…it’s that we can’t even comprehend.

5/15/2015

2 Comments

 
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I've been spending a lot of time lately at my cottage. For the past few months, I've been super busy with contract work, and it’s been hard to find a time to settle down. Now that I have some free time, I've escaped to the country. My thoughts have started to slow and the days are getting longer.

A colleague recently posted this article about how climate models are using increasingly unrealistic assumptions that we will get our act together to prevent 2C degree warming. The article concludes that no one wants to admit the scientific reality that it’s basically impossible that we will actually avoid catastrophic changes. It’s a tough read, and not just because it uses a bunch of acronyms and data. 

When I read articles about climate change, sometimes I feel a jolt. I see a disconnect between the normalcy of our daily lives and the urgency of acting, even with my friends in the scientific/activism community. Even for people who are such believers in science, who trust the “facts” and data, it seems almost impossible for us to believe that life will be drastically different in the future. We are starving for optimism. When I tell my peers about my thoughts on inevitable climate damages and injustices, the response is often “well, we don’t know for sure that it will be that bad”, “there’s still time” and “don’t be an alarmist”.  I settle into a feeling of comfort that maybe I am being too pessimistic. Maybe it will all be okay somehow. Maybe we will figure it out. It’s nicer to think that way.

Yesterday, a very close friend’s grandfather died peacefully. After hearing the news, I walked through the woods before sunset, listening to the haunting calls of hermit thrushes and searching for wild leek. The shadows were deepening during my walk, and my feet sank into the soft ground. My friend called to talk about her loss. I sat on a mossy rock and we had the type of conversation you have when you realize again how fragile it all is. Looking around while we chatted, I noticed everything is changing so quickly and slowly. The jack in the pulpits are out, and all of the wild strawberries are in bloom within just a few days. 



When I think about climate change, it’s easy to see it as headlines in a place far away. It’s getting more palpable, for sure, like Quebec’s record cold winter and my extra high heating bills. But it’s still so slow, so piecemeal and so far away. Something bad is happening in the arctic. Something bad is happening with climate refugees. Something bad is happening on the other coast. There will be another international conference, we will be skeptically hopeful, the activists will rally, and we will sigh and try again for next year.

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A big part of the climate justice movement is about building a better community. By learning how to make decisions more collectively, by taking the time to build relationships, to eat meals together, to grow our own food, to acknowledge our histories, to become more mindful, to honor the places we live in. 


But here, with the blue jays calling outside, with the bees bringing back their last pollen of the day, with the warm breeze…it’s hard to actually feel that the world is slowly dying.

Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around the distance between present moments drenched in beauty and future projections aching with grief. 

How do other people deal with this dissonance?

2 Comments
Anna K
5/17/2015 11:27:13 am

Hey Shoana,

I'm struggling with many of the same things myself.

"I see a disconnect between the normalcy of our daily lives and the urgency of acting, even with my friends in the scientific/activism community."

Very well put.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe - the inside of me is so painfully, constantly aware of all that we are on track to lose, and also aware of how small (and ever-smaller) a chance we have of actually saving it. I try to dream up schemes and strategies that can pull us back, but I feel that everything we do (no matter how effective on the local scale) is just not going to add up to be enough. The dissonance hurts.

I want to talk about it more with others who feel the same to try to figure out how to deal with that dissonance - ideally by finding paths of action - but there is very little space to do so, and perhaps one of the reasons that we don't make space for it, is because we have some sort of deep-seated belief that it would be pointless to try making that space...

One of the things I'm working on now is acceptance of what is beyond my personal control - but even that feels like a cop-out, because I want to be a change-maker, to bring more into my realm of control.

Oh the confusion. You're definitely not alone in experiencing this dissonance. Sorry I can't offer anything more concrete.

*Hugs*

Do get in touch if you feel it might be useful.

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Shona
5/18/2015 01:03:55 am

Hi Anna, thanks so much for your response!

It's nice to feel like I'm not alone, and it's (mostly) why I wrote this. I feel like there's an element of being in denial in the activist/scientific community, but on the other hand...what else can we do? I think there's definitely a space needed to discuss the grief, confusion, and dissonance within our community.

It's hard to find the fine line between acknowledging the painful truth and staying positive. Certainly it doesn't help if we slump into being apathetic and depressed. I think it's linked to self-care, and I see your point about maybe feeling that it's pointless to make that case.

I definitely feel the same way about living in an alternate universe! It's hard to figure out how to deal with these feelings. My hope is that we will all continue (start?) to talk about them.

We have to take care of ourselves and each other, but how can we integrate that into taking care of the Earth? (and I've heard good arguments that the Earth doesn't need to be "taken care of" - it implies that humans are the ones in charge of nature).

Anyway, it's a big topic! For a while now I've been trying to imagine a space where activists/scientists come together to discuss these feelings, but I haven't been able to figure out what it would actually look like.

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    About Shona

    I'm an eco-conscious girl from Montreal, Quebec. I'm currently an adjunct science professor at Champlain College of Vermont (Montreal Campus). I'm interested in any opportunities to expand my experience with grassroots activism, climate change legislation, or environmental education.

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    Hiking on Fox Glacier in New Zealand

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